Blumenkranz (Bertolt x Reader) [SONG FIC]

DISCLAIMER: HEAVY SPOILERS. This story is not an AU or remake. Nor is it exactly in flow with the original story. It’s just another insert. This is all in Bertolt’s perspective/point of view.

NOTE(S): Blumenkranz – German for floral wreath

Rating: Coarse Language. Angst. Death. Romance. Slight Sadism. Psychological Refuse. Confusion.

        Spring had arrived. The time where flowers finished taking their roots and were beginning their bloom. The day where leaves began regenerating on the trees. The day where fresh waters recovered from the frozen wintry season. The day when the cold no longer met the cold. The day where the warmth started engulfing the world. Even now, it’s also the day where humanity starts a fresh. But most significantly, for me, is the time when the wall goes down, again. If only someone could find us. Then, we wouldn’t be here in this situation…

I stood, contemplating my options. Ruminating in my own world there was one thing that was jamming my thoughts. I couldn’t erase it. It was like a germ infesting my brain. I couldn’t think straight. What am I? A soldier? No. Warrior? I--

“Hey Bertl!” you called out from behind my back. I turned, only to see you fall flat on your plump face which was now scarred with dirt and scratch marks that grazed the tip of your skin, slowly causing it to slit open and pour out blood. I ran up to your splayed out body, and scolded you like I was your father. “O-Ow! That really hurt…” you whined.

“W-Well, it was your fault (Name) for running too fast,” I continued scolding, oblivious to your pain. I was more worried of your injuries. “D-Don’t be s-so reckless,” I said, juggling around with my words as usual. “You could sust-tain p-permanent damage.”

“Oh you care too much Bertl!” you replied as you swatted my hand away. It felt warm. “I’m not that weak.” True, you weren’t weak, but you weren’t strong either. “Just you wait, I’ll get stronger! I want to get stronger!” you raised your voice. I calmed you down but your pioneering spirit caused you to overwhelm yourself.


(Ich möchte stärker werden,)
I want to get stronger,

“W-Why?” I questioned. “B-But you are strong.” You gave me an uninterested look before stating your reason.


(weil unsere Welt sehr grausam ist)
because the world is so cruel

Ah, so that’s why. Because this world is cruel.


(Es ist ratsam, welke Blumen zu entfernen)
It's a good idea to remove limp flowers

I stood there watching and listening to your broken hearted story. Your father, your mother and brother were devoured by those monsters whom you called titans. The colossal titan, whom you said you would take down before you die, was unknowingly in front of you. “If we are to live in a peaceful world it’s best to remove titans once and for all,” you concluded. “Oh, right! I came to show you this,” you reminded yourself before grabbing my hand and escorting me to your dorm. I was worried for a second that you had something devious in plan, judging by the fact that we were the only ones in the room but that thought appeased as you showed me what you were making. “Look!”

“A-A blumenkranz?” I asked in a way that sounded like it needed some clarification.

“Yep! Here, I made this for you,” you stated before offering me mine. I took it and smelt the scent of the various flowers that latched on to the ring base. Placing it on my head you giggled at my adorableness. “You look so cute in it Bertolt,” you squealed before tackling me down to the ground. I winced in pain as I landed but your genuine smile and happiness was what ridded me of everything else. I forgot why I was happy. But that was the reason why I was always unhappy. It was, you. Everything about you made me a miserable wreck. Did I deserve you?

“(N-Name), please get off,” I politely asked and you obeyed before pulling me into you, joining my lips with your soft peachy ones. We were in love weren’t we? That was what was killing me. You. And your love. I melted into your warm kiss for a minute before realising that I was going to regret this decision. Flipping you onto your back I undid every inch of clothing so that we were bare. Your body was so warm and your hot breaths that brushed against me felt like the amiable and inviting spring breeze. Every ounce of you I admired. You squirmed under me as I delved into your body, mouth agape as we made love. Pure ecstasy mingled with memories of the past as I tried so hard to rid myself of those scars. “I’m a murderer…” I accidentally blurted out.

“E-Eh?” you asked me with a convoluted look.

“U-Ughmm,” losing my syntax of words I covered it up but I still sounded vague. “J-Jokes?”

“Hahahaha,” you gagged at my sudden ‘joke.’ But it wasn’t a joke. It was the truth. The truth that was blinding you and I. Underneath that smile I knew you were worried.


(Du fragst mich, ob ich mit dir komm)
You're asking me whether I'll accompany you

(Du flüsterst mir in mein Ohr)
You're whispering in my ear

(Du fragst mich, ob ich deine Hand nehm)
You're asking me whether I'll take your hand

(Ich hab keinen Grund, dich abzulehnen)
I don't have any reason to refuse

(Du fragst mich, ob ich mit dir komm)
You're asking me whether I'll accompany you

(Du flüsterst mir in mein Ohr)
You're whispering in my ear

(Du fragst mich, ob ich deine Hand nehm)
You're asking me whether I'll take your hand

(Du flüsterst mir)
(You're whispering...)

Weeks passed and we drew forever closer. I would clutch your miniscule hand in mine as we embraced each other, letting the others know we were each other’s. On the exterior I seemed to be enjoying my time with you but in the interior, I was rotting away.

“Bertolt,” Annie called out to me. “We need to talk.”

So, leaving you behind temporarily I took to Annie’s need. “Y-Yes?”

“Are you forgetting yourself?” she interrogated, cutting straight through the ice.

“W-What are you--?” trying my best to come up with something I remained utterless in her presence.

“We’re warriors Bertolt,” she reiterated. “Tomorrow you--”

“I know that,” I interjected with a tone possessing of inhumaneness. “I haven’t forgotten. Reasoning to as why I’m spending as much time as I can with (Name) before tomorrow’s event. Don’t worry about me.” Humming with relief Annie dismissed me.


I visited your dorm before dinner to try convince you to come along with me. I knew it wasn’t going to end well. “So this ‘village,’ you’re saying it’s outside of the walls? Where the titans are? And you want me to accompany you?”

Taking a large gulp of my saliva back into my throat I clarified, “Y-Yes. B-But they won’t hurt you. We live in harmony o-over there.” I looked at your concentrated gaze. You squinted your eyes at me as you pondered.

“I think you dream too much Bertolt,” you finally answered. I was gobsmacked. You were never going to understand. If I told you my real identity then it would’ve been a different story.

“P-Please believe me,” I begged, taking your hand into mine.

“C-Calm down Bertl,” you reluctantly pulled away from me. “L-Look, let’s settle in for dinner and after we can discuss it with the others too. How’s that sound?” You got up and offered me your hand but I refused. “W-What’s the matter?”

“Look,” I started and you flinched at the ominous tone under my breath, “I don’t want any more people to die. That’s why, I’m asking you to do this with me. Then, please. I have just one request (Name).”

“What is it?”

“Stay away from the walls tomorrow,” I finally concluded before accepting your hand. Standing up we took to dinner and I couldn’t help but look over at your troubled face. Doubt was beginning to bloom like a flower in you. As the day came to its end all the trainees fell to sleep. “(Name),” I pulled you out of your dorm room.

“Y-Yes? What is it Bertl?” you inquired.

“Come with me, I want t-to show you something,” I replied. I showed you to a secret flower garden near the walls. As the moonlight beamed upon the soft lush grass, the flowers glimmered as they basked in its beautiful light. The cool spring night’s breeze caused them to sway gently. The trees served as the protective walls to the garden and they bore a plethora of various coloured leaves.

“W-Wow!” you exclaimed as you ran into its midst. “It’s beautiful Bertl!” I watched you as you danced and pranced around the garden, taking in every sight possible. Smelling every sweet scent possible. I admired your childish behavior. You grabbed my hand and joined me in on your silly little dance. It was cute though.

“(Name),” I said as I held your body close. “I love you.”

“I love you too Bertl!” you replied with glee. I took your lips into mine as we swayed in the wind, with the flowers dancing along with us under our feet. A strong flash of gust blew across us and we lost balance, tumbling to the ground. We prepared for a harsh landing but the soft embrace of the new spring flowers caught us. Petals flung into the air as we met the earth and they swung in it like clouds above our heads. “This is beautiful Bertolt,” you commented, laying your head on my chest. “This world may seem cruel but, it’s got so many hidden beauties.”

“I-Indeed,” I reinforced you before drawing your body closer. “(N-Name), here,” I placed a blumenkranz on your head.

“Oh Bertl!” you squealed as you fitted it on your head comfortably. We sat up and adjusted it before it shined in the moonlight. “I-It’s amazing! How did you?”

“I-I uhhh,” I trailed off trying to find an explanation. “I guess I learnt from you haha.” Nervously I fondled with your hair before adding, “I-It’s not finished yet, though. I plan on finishing it tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much Bertolt,” you offered your gratitude and it made my heart flutter to hear your next words, “I love you so much.” At the same time my conscience stung itself and I couldn’t help but feel loved and hated at the same time. Relieving myself of my confliction I kissed you tenderly and most passionately. Knowing this was going to be our last night together, I decided to finally appreciate the life I was able to live with you as tomorrow, you would reject me for the hidden monster I am and was always.

Throughout the night we named flowers until you were no longer able to keep awake. I carried you to bed before kissing you goodnight, a tear beginning to precipitate on my eyes. It was a good night. You slept soundly like a baby meeting its longing cot. But I for one could not. For the horrible truth was yet to reveal itself. Stopping my nightmare of tears I steeled myself for tomorrow’s ordeal.


(Ja, Ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab)
Yes, I'm much stronger than I ever thought

(Fliege höher!)
Fly higher!

(Laufe viel schneller!)
Run faster!

(Vergiss die Wahrheit nicht!)
Don't forget the truth!

(Ja, Ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab)
Yes, I'm much stronger than I ever thought

(Ich entferne welke Blumen)
I'm removing limp flowers

(Wieso siehst du so traurig aus?)
Why do you look so sad?

The morning was coming to life and the light was still young. While you were still asleep I took to the walls with my 3DMG. Running like a bolt of lightning I sprung up high into the sky. I felt free for a moment but the walls encaged us in what seemed to be a prison. I hated that. But that wasn’t the reason why I came here. Landing safely on the top of the walls I stood for a good minute to absorb spring’s power. The warm breeze that sifted through my body as petals of the withered flowers travelled to their abode through it. Looking into the horizon the sun was being born. The shimmering of flowers below caught my attention. So without haste I dropped down to gather the heads of the flowers and continued compiling your blumenkranz. This was for you, (Name). Seeing the titans appearing on the brim of the horizon I scaled the walls with your still incomplete blumenkranz. Laying it on the ground I was going to continue it before you caught my attention. “Ah…”

“B-Bertl,” you began. I looked at your equipped body. “What are you doing?”

“M-Making your blumenkranz,” I nervously replied.

“This early in the morning?” you mused out loud like it was some kind of joke. “And why here--?”

“Why did you come?” I threw you back one of my questions.

“Because I wanted to find out why you didn’t want me to come to the walls,” you answered before adding, “and besides, your stealth level isn’t that good you know? Hahaha.”

There was no more time. The walls were to go down now but why, you were in the way. “(N-Name), I need you to stay away from me. From here. And fast too. J-Just go!”

“H-Huh?” you questioned confusedly and frightfully.

There was no more hiding. The truth had to come out now. “I’m the--”

“Bertolt,” a familiar voice came from behind you. It was Reiner. “Why haven’t you cracked down the wall yet? Annie’s waiting to transf--s-shit! (N-Name), what’re you--?”

“What?” you processed Reiner’s words before slowly coming to realise what he had said, taking steps back away from me before landing in his arms. “Gyaa--! G-Get away from me!”

“Fuck (Name) why’re you--?” Reiner tried holding you in place but you were relentless. Screaming and flailing in his arms you tried calling for my help but realisation struck you.

“B-Bertolt?” you called me as tears erupted from your (e/c) orbs. “W-What are you?! What’s the meaning of this?!”

Hysteria.


(Diese Welt ist grausam)
The world is horrible

(Es ist traurig aber wahr)
It's sad but true

(Diese Welt ist seltsam)
The world is strange

(Es ist fraglich aber wahr)
It's questionable but true

(Ist der Blumengarten echt oder falsch?)
Is the flower garden real?

“I-I’m sorry (Name),” I apologised before attempting my explanation. “B-But I can’t tell you why we’re doing this. J-Just come with me, a-and we can leave all this cruelty behind!”

“What cruelty!” you rebutted. “The only cruel thing here on this earth are you despicable beings! A-All along you were it!?”

“I-It’s true I did all those things b-but I--” I tried calming down your hysteria, but to no avail.

“Fucking shut up!” your voice boomed as it echoed through the top of the walls. I watched you unleashed yourself from Reiner’s grasp as you continued your rant. “You’re horrible! Cruel! Monsters!!! There’s no questioning about it! It’s sad but it’s true!!! You killed my family! You took away my happiness! And now, you plan to take me?!”

Those crushing words tore my heart into an infinite amount of pieces. Uncountable to the point where I couldn’t find my will power to pick up the pieces. “(N-Name)?! I l-love you! And that’s why I want to take you with m--!”

“Were those feelings real though?!” you cut me off. Your voice was sharp with pain and burning hot with humanity’s rage. “Or were they fake?! Tell me Bertolt! Did you really love me?! The flower garden, was that real, or fake?! That blumenkranz I made for you, was my genuine and real love for you! Is your blumenkranz your show of love for me? Or is it your fucking plead for forgiveness?!”

Your interrogation overwhelmed me and I felt weak to the spirit and my soul, well it was crushed. Falling to my knees I tried replying to you but my string of emotions were strangling me. Finally collecting my words I was about to express myself before you disappeared off the wall.


(Ich möchte stärker werden,)
I want to get stronger

(weil unsere Welt sehr grausam ist)
because the world is so cruel

(Es ist ratsam, welke Blumen zu entfernen)
It's a good idea to remove limp flowers

“(Name) wait!” Reiner ordered you but you continued flying into the direction of the trainee camp. I watched hopelessly as you betrayed my feelings. No, who was I to say such a thing?

“This world is cruel,” I kept reiterating to myself. I sat there frozen in my tracks as time surpassed me. The ruckus that surrounded me were becoming loud as thunder. But the soft breeze of the spring seemed to immobilise me. “Yes, this world is cruel. That’s the reason why we live.” Something overtook me at that instant. “Reiner, Annie, get ready,” I told my best friends in advance before leaping back off the wall. As I fell to earth my mind kept replaying memories of you. Our times together as a couple. And, our planned future. But that was the problem. I, as the human predecessor had to remove mankind, just like how you and I used to remove withered or limp flowers from the grass. No more. I knew what I had to do. What I did was natural.


(Ja, Ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab)
Yes, I'm much stronger than I ever thought

(Fliege höher!)
Fly higher!

(Laufe viel schneller!)
Run faster!

(Vergiss die Wahrheit nicht!)
Don't forget the truth!

(Ja, Ich bin viel stärker, als ich je gedacht hab)
Yes, I'm much stronger than I ever thought

(Ich entferne welke Blumen)
I'm removing limp flowers

(Wieso siehst du so traurig aus?)
Why do you look so sad?

No more playing soldier. I’m, a warrior. Now…

I destroyed my right hand, causing it to react with my body. Lightning met my body as electricity and heat fused together with the spring air unleashing the monster within me. Standing sixty meters above the world I again felt like a warrior, soaring high and standing strong. However, when I saw you coming towards me with the others I couldn’t move. I became that weak soldier again. This was a nightmare come true. “N-No, (Name),” I pleaded for your life. “D-Don’t come any closer!”


(Was willst du von mir?)
What do you want with me?

(Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den Feind verfolgen)
I may want to or I may not, I have to chase the enemy

(Ich bin nicht frei von dieser Welt)
I'm not free of this world

(Was willst du von mir?)
What do you want with me?

(Ich mag wollen oder nicht, ich muss den Feind verfolgen)
I may want to or I may not, I have to chase the enemy

(Ich bin nicht frei von dieser Welt)
I'm not free of this world

“Bertolt!” you roared as you landed on the top of the wall. “I swore to avenge my family from the one who broke down the first wall. I don’t care who stands in my way or who the hell it is but, you’re no longer my love. You’re my enemy and I will continue to pursue you until I kill you! I won’t be free of this world until justice is served. And when you are eradicated is when humankind can live in a world that isn’t cruel anymore!”

Hearing those heart wrenching words made me feel dead inside. I knew it was true because I was the one who caused all those deaths. But I did it for a reason. One I couldn’t tell you unless you came with me!

“What do you want from us?!” I heard you yelling. “Why?! Why B-Bertolt?!” Still frozen I looked over at your pained expression. It was unreadable. Angst mixed with fear and indignation as tears gushed out of your eyes. And betrayal by far the worst. I couldn’t give you an answer. Not yet, at least. I glanced down to the base of the wall to see Annie and Reiner awaiting my move.

“I’m sorry, (Name)…”

The base of the wall was punctured as a deep hole was engraved in it. Eren tried to rip me out viciously but I emitted steam that wiped you all off the wall. Fearing for you in particular I quickly made my titan disappear before rushing to your whereabouts. The titans had invaded the wall. This was the end.

“(Name)!?” I shouted out your name in hopes for your response. “(Name)!” I couldn’t hear your voice. The sounds of people running in terror at their presence was overpowering. Your sweet voice couldn’t be singled out. “(Name)…”

If only, if only someone had found us. Then we wouldn’t be in this situation, now. I wouldn’t have come to be the monster I am now. I wouldn’t have been burdened with the death of humanity. I would have been able to live a perfect life with you.


(Egal wie hart du auch bist)
No matter how hard you are

(Fliege höher!)
Run faster!

(Laufe viel schneller!)
Fly higher!

(Du bist sehr stark)
You're very strong

Now here I am sitting with you in my arms, on top of the now shattered walls. Humanity has come to their demise. Gently wiping away your tears I hush you, “Don’t cry (Name), it’ll be alright. No matter what, you’ll always be my strong (Name).” I hear the screams of humans below and the sound of teeth crunching. Your fellow trainees are gone (Name).

“B-Bertolt.” I turn to see Reiner with a mortified look painted on his features. “(N-Name)’s l-lower body is--”

“No Reiner,” I correct him. “She’s still here, see?” I hold your limp body up to show him. “A-Ah, you’re still bleeding (Name)! Reiner can you get me some bandages please?”

“He’s gone,” Annie says as she leads him away. Why? What were they talking about? You’re still here with me. The spring breeze whirls around us as petals take to the sky. It’s the perfect spring scenery. And I’m glad to be enjoying it with you, my dearest (Name). The aromatherapy soothes my soul and spirit, ridding of the foulness of bloody tastes and grinded guts. I look down to see the garden we once danced in to be stained with blood and trampled to death. It’s my fault that happened. I ruined spring. But there is only one thing that can make up for all this sin.

“Please forgive me (Name).” I look to my side to see the blumenkranz that I promised to you. Picking it up and gently placing it on your head I softly caress your face. “One day I’ll complete your blumenkranz. Let’s go home, (Name).” Still you won’t respond. Your blood has stopped now, thank goodness and your eyes are slowly coming to a close. Rest (Name), for a new day is ahead of us. Oh you look so peaceful when you’re asleep. Still though, your expression never changes. For why, when I try so hard to talk to you, you remain in this face of excruciating sadness? I can’t talk to you yet for you are asleep.

“Bertolt,” I hear Annie’s cold and monotonous voice. “She’s dead. Don’t you get it?” Refusing such a folly I softly embrace you. Your body has grown cold but maybe that’s because you don’t have much on. Your warm breath, is no more. Annie gives me a disappointed look before finally leaving with Reiner. I don’t know where they are going but I will soon follow them. We’re going home together, (Name). I look up at the sky, which is now painted a dark crimson. It’s like spring fire. Then again, the havoc of the titans were causing it. But don’t worry. We’ll find another place where flowers bloom and continue making blumenkranz. For now, let’s enjoy spring together. Petals dance elegantly in the wind as fire engulfs the world. They seem, free.

“Is your blumenkranz your show of love for me? Or is it your fucking plead for forgiveness?!”

Your words I contemplate before remembering why I made you a blumenkranz. “Happy birthday, (Name). Spring is your birthday.” I finally cast my eyes back down at your now expressionless face. “Oh (Name), you should be happy. Today’s your birthday. Here I’ve made you a floral wreath.”

(Du bindest einen Blumenkranz)
You're making a flower wreath


(Wieso siehst du so traurig aus?)
Why do you look so sad?

“But, why, do you look so sad?”

…